Anxiety: The Biggest, Baddest Bully You Will Ever Face

It is embarrassing to admit that I get bullied. They say that you are your own worst enemy, but I see that I have been my own worst bully and have been punk'n myself since I was a kid. I bullied myself into thinking I am not good enough, not smart enough, or not pretty enough. I bullied myself by saying that "I can't do that" without even trying first or that "no one will like me." I bullied myself by critiquing every inch of my body on a daily basis. I conditioned myself to walk around with my head down or hide behind sunglasses because I feared being seen.

My fear and anxiety bullied me into submission. I always knew what it was doing, preventing me from experiencing my fullest potential. But almost is a sadomasochist way, I felt this bully was loving me, protecting me, when in reality it was bring pain and torment that I had grown to find pleasurable. It became habitual. I am a Gemini and in typical twin fashion, I felt that my bully and I were one in the same, never to be separated.

Finally at forty years old, I summoned the courage to face my bully. I am good enough, I am smart enough, I am pretty enough. Who gives a fuck if no one likes me, I like myself and that is all that matters. My body is imperfect, but it is healthy and gave me a beautiful daughter. My bully is no longer the dominatrix. I took that role and put her in submission. But I do not disparage her. She forced me to grow the strength and courage to finally control my life. I accept that the biggest, baddest bully just needed to be loved, but the bitch stills needs to be put in her place. #anxiety #mentalhealth #selfconfidence #takebackyourpower #selflove #selfcare #Iamenough